Tag Archive | believe

I must be crazy…

I must be crazy….

or perhaps a little insane? but… I am a good person.

My apologies for not doing much with my Esthetics of late… I have had some bumps in my path and I promise… you will see some new posts that have more to do with my professional side then my personal… but thank you for reading and being a fan of my Esthetics page nonetheless! ūüôā


The TRUTH is…

My personal blog… working through things… good, bad… it’s ME ūüôā

thank you as always for taking time to read… always appreciated!

The TRUTH is…. ¬†I am grateful for being ME… and having this outlet… specially nowadays…

TRUTH IS… I know I need to get crackin on some professional blog time too! ūüėČ


Below is a link to my personal blog entry… I am happy with this entry… (not that I am not happy with my other entries… I just really think I keyed in on something that I needed to find within myself)
Thanks for taking time to read!
It’s always appreciated!:-)



Hope. Happiness. Belief.

From my personal blog… Enjoy ūüôā
and thank you for taking the time to read…
I appreciate it!

Hope. Happiness. Belief.




I hope you enjoy… not much… just me and my personal update… just felt like sharing with my little world…
thanks for reading me!!
let happiness shine…. you’re amazing, and the most AWESOMENESS!! ūüôā

New control, adventure and happiness!

It’s been a while since I have posted anything… and my apologies goes out to you all. ¬†I have questionable excuses at best… I’d like to tell you it’s due to my non-stop busy-ness and my go go go life… and at times… it does feel that way, but, honestly, I have found time to blog in my personal matters in my personal blog… I have just, it seems, stared down this blog, I have attempted several blogs, get iratated and eventually delete it or walk away from said unfinished potential master piece (seriously kidding on the master piece portion)… so today… I am going to let you in on what’s happening professionally these days… which, I think is a huge turning point for me… both professionally and personally I suppose as well.

A few months back around mid-April a couple clients at the threading KIOSK job in the mall mentioned to me that I should look into a company called “Plum District” – they are much like Groupon and Living Social, however, they are just for mom’s with small businesses, they promote your business on their blog as well as offer coupon/advertisement on their official business web site. ¬†This was something I kept tossing around in my thick stubborn skull for the past few months… looking into it finally and finally reaching out and making contact only to find it was taking a very long time for anyone to reach me. ¬†So I waited… patiently… and that’s a big¬†obstacle¬†for me at moments… so I give myself kudos for that part at least.

So after waiting a couple weeks with no response I resubmitted another request and in about a week I was finally emailed something from a regional manager and then we eventually were in contact. ¬†Things that started out slow started ramping up… so to speak.

I spoke with the lady, Rhonda, she was very kind and extremely helpful. ¬†She and I through out ideas and then I was advised to create my price list and then she would create some mock ups and then send me them for final approval. ¬†Eventually they will be online via Plum District and when they are I will be certain to advise you all on it…

I have essentially signed the contract, now I am just waiting for the mock-ups and to get the “ball rolling” — I am hopeful it will hit the web by early this week… VERY excited and very nervous… this could be huge things for my little business… or could tell me I need to walk away and try something else… I hope it’s the first!!! I REALLY believe in this and I believe in myself and I know my abilities and what I can do!!!

Things have been crazy and insane at job #2 and this is one of the many reasons why I have chosen to finally step off the ledge and take the plunge… I know I have feared things way too long in both my personal and business life… and I am truly pushing myself and trying to make myself see what someone once attempted to show me… he was my light and my¬†guidance¬†for a very good portion of my new “life” – I may have destroyed that with this man… but… I am here to tell him and you that I am learning from my mistakes… TRULY learning… not just saying so and not following through… which we all do way too much… talk is hugely cheap… it’s time to step up and take the bull by the¬†proverbial¬†horns and pull him the the ground for once and for all… because THIS IS MY LIFE… MY BUSINESS AND I AM going to do something that will make ME proud of ME!

It doesn’t go without saying that if it wasn’t for this incredibly man/person that helped give me the mental and physical push I desperately needed I personally know I would still be caged, in extreme fear and waiting for someone to screw me up once more. ¬†I need to thank this person… he made my life better… and I think he knows it… but… I will forever be grateful and I will never go a day without mentally thanking him. ¬†AND wishing, hoping and believing that one day we will have something more again… but, that’s a different story… no today, right now… I am here to say thank you to him. ¬†You know who you are and many also know of this amazing person. ¬†He is something that I will never be able to let go of… to know this man is to love him in some capacity. ¬†He swept in like the most amazing wind… that not only filled my life with hope, passion and love… but also showed me who I really can be… who I was, and that my stubborn streak was in denial in allowing that true ME out to play.

He also made it possible for me to have a business in the first place. ¬†He gave me the backing, both¬†monetarily, but also mentally…. always and forever pushing me to see what I had right here in front of me… and reminding me I cannot fix things that have already happened… and that I need not worry about what will happen in the future… to only think about the now… the present. ¬†Be conscience of what was happening right now. ¬†I am sorry to admit I didn’t always see eye to eye with him on this… I played like I did… but… deep down… I needed to figure it out I suppose on my own stubborn self. ¬†2 months ago I had to start facing it on my own… so to speak. ¬†Realizing no one but yourself can do it for you… I faced myself in that¬†proverbial¬†mirror….¬†¬†and I didn’t like what I was seeing. ¬†I forced myself to see the fears and bullshit I was clinging to so hard for so long that was truly destroying my here and now… and what may have destroyed what might have been my ONE true love… that’s what really made me fight back and show the world… me included and yes… even him that I am not a quitter and I am not too stubborn and full of myself to see I am a work in progress… I need a lot of learning… and I have made myself conquer fears and face them full on and do with with a smile on my face… I am here today to tell you I am proud of what I have accomplished in the past 2 months… will that bring him back to me? that’s not why I am telling you all this… granted in the beginning I was doing it for him… obviously for me as well… but… somewhere along the way I felt the light bulb click on and I suddenly “got it” — I still want to show him… I would still love for him to share my world with me… but… I know in the end he showed me things that I will forever hold deeply as a special and most important life lesson.

We cannot always control everything… but, we can attempt to make ourselves better in the environment we live, and breath in. ¬†This goes with our personal life and professional life.

Regardless if we want to separate our professional and personal lives… they intertwine… it’s natural… and I almost think a bit human. ¬†But, what we can do is control the here and now and how we react to that said environment. ¬†I have learned to smile at adversity and believe and listen to that deep down voice that has always been there attempting to show and guide me on the right path… you know the one… that most of you neglect and refuse to listen to… I was one of the stubborn ones that refused to hear it for many many many years… well I listen to my inner diva now… I have embraced her and therefore embraced ME and I LOVE me and I am proud of me… that goes for my business and personal life…

Granted I do regret a few things… it’s not good to regret… this I know… but… I also know I am human and I am trying. ¬†I am truly 100% trying… this isn’t something I could honestly admit to a few months back. ¬†and I can say I am a bit angry and pissed off at that ME for being so obtuse and stubborn for so freaking long! I refused to be happy… because…. well… honestly… this is going to sound like a real royal asinine excuse but…. for some reason I had it in my head that it was unfair to be happy if WE both couldn’t be happy… course… in my stupid¬†naivety¬†I neglected the other part of this equation… one that I should have never done so… the other human being that was in this with me… he needed my support as much as I needed his… I broke my part… I became this self-absorbed whiny bitchy person that when I look back… who the hell could blame anyone for needing to walk away from me… I would have! Seriously. I forced myself to take that very hard look and walk back over myself… not for a punishment purpose but… just to help me realize my own idiocy and acknowledge my wrong doings… and identify them and know I will never do said things again.

That being said… and going back to my professional life… this all bleeds back and forth from personal vs professional… it just does. ¬†We try not to allow it… but… when we have a bad day at work… and we try to desensitize ourselves before we are around our loved ones… it doesn’t always work… then when we have issues in personal life… drama happens… it’s life… we try not to take it to work… but guess what?! WE DO!

Here’s something I have learned… I cannot change my historically fantastic mistakes I have made over the past several months… obviously I’d be lying if I said I didn’t ever wish I could take them back… but… guess what… I cannot… you cannot… it’s just not going to happen. ¬†So… we have to move forward and learn. ¬†Take it with that¬†proverbial¬†grain of salt and learn… LEARN from your mistake and you are better for it. Smile through it… smiling improves our days… as hard as it is to lift those lips on your face… it’s actually a healthy thing to do… TRY IT!

SEE… told you!

Take a nice deep breath and realize each day is a new day and we are free to make ourselves better… make ourselves into the people we have set out to be. ¬†We just seem to let that asshole bosses words pull you back and loose momentum… just believe in your self worth and what you bring to the table. ¬†If you are right inside… then SHOW IT. When you have a bad drive into work… before you work with your clients, answer the phone or anything else… step back… do something¬†cathartic¬†and realize it wasn’t anything you did… and you cannot fix that persons¬†disposition… but you can fix or adjust yours. ¬†If that client runs off at the mouth, is in a fowl mood, goes off on you because you pulled one too many hairs or just plain is hateful… just realize one important thing…
WHICH IS: You’re not her/him… you can smile… you can take a deep breath and know…. you aren’t them stuck in that nasty¬†disposition¬†and unhappy existence and the only thing they did for you is to show you who you don’t need to be like, act like or worry about…

In the end… we control a little bit of our days… let that control be good control… don’t hold yourself back due to some¬†unforeseen, future fears that haven’t happened yet… just do it! Just smile through your pain and realize we make us who we want to be… NO ONE ELSE CONTROLS US.

Thanks for reading… and I will be updating soon with more details on my business adventure!!!


I leave you with a couple of my favorite quotes… and what I am looking like (somewhat) these days… yes, I put much more ‘color’ into the hair… there’s actually 4 colors besides the bleach and my natural color!

Live Happier… ūüôā

Excuse me, how do I get to Starbucks?

Dribble-Drabble Friday, May 18, 2012

Greetings! ¬†I haven’t written much personal on my esthetics page… so much has been happening in my “personal” life… I haven’t felt much like writing about work related problems these days or work related things… they are taking a back seat to my personal matters… I suppose that’s an appropriate thought? Perhaps?

Today was a good day. ¬†I felt the desire to share…

I worked the 9:30-6 p.m. shift today… I was only scheduled for two days this week… I sort of put my foot down and said I wouldn’t be working this weekend! ¬†You see I turn 40, and I personally didn’t want to spend the next two days… threading eyebrows, lips, and facial areas on strangers… it just didn’t seem appropriate to celebrate my big day attending to others… I have worked the majority of my past birthdays… that is when I was employed. ¬†I have only been unemployed maybe 5 total years since I was 14 years old… so… working through my birthday holiday has always been something I have done. ¬†Not this year… I am trying things differently in my life… placing myself first, trying to at least. ¬†My heart still remains a fixer, and wanting… no desiring to fix? Maybe… but be there for the ones I choose to love and desire to be near… I do feel better when I am helping others. ¬†I am learning it’s not always healthy to always be this kind of person and not think about yourself first… “Self-preservation” wasn’t something that was taught readily as I grew up… so it’s been something I am trying hard to realize. I believe I am finally coming around… “seeing the light” so to speak.

So… I have become a “big fish” in the small fish bowl… I liken to call that damn KIOSK at the mall… (I actually call it the “Fish Bowl” – because no matter where you stand, look, you cannot hide… you are always having eyes on you… from the sides, above you from the top floor of said mall… there IS no hiding) It feels good to be “loved” by so many… I suppose I can feel the self-confidence that I have built within myself… I am sure not the girl that started back in December… I am self-assured, confident in my abilities and it shows… and it feels AMAZING!!!

So just to assure all you Newbie Estheticians out in the big bad world… hang in there… just because you had a bad day… even if you are ready to rethink what you are doing with your life… take a really deep breath and believe! It will pass and your confidence will come and you will become amazing! You will find your happiness and it will show! Trust me!

I knew my lovely fun shaded hair would come in handy… LOL!!! Today it was very evident… typically, you see I tend to have a few more days scheduled during the regular work-week and therefore most of these clients that seem to want me to only mess with their hair removed can come at different times during said week… well… not this week. ¬†I had mentioned as much as I could that I would only be here Thursday and Friday this week… given yesterdays SLOW day… I had a few of my regulars, but, nothing to write home about… figured people got busy. ¬†No worries… well damn! Today… HA HA HA!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! I showed up, to open said KIOSK, and I had 3 people already there… I had to hurry, ready myself, and get them signed in… by the time I was ready to take the first client, another 4 of my regulars came and signed in. ¬†Before 12:30 I had already seen more then 10 clients! ¬†only 3 were new! ¬†My second chair showed up… yet, that didn’t seem to change some of their minds… they still waited, patiently often times up to 30 to 40 minutes to have me thread their brows… honestly… I couldn’t have needed such a boost more then I needed today! ¬†It really helped my day go by so quickly, being so busy… but it also helped me feel happy within… that I finally “made it” — I am feeling that inner feeling that I have been trying to find. ¬†It’s such a difficult thing to describe… but… a¬†light-bulb¬†went off and I finally “got it”.

I am GOOD! I cannot tell you how difficult that one small sentence has always been to say… silly huh? ¬†I fear that if I “brag” about myself… that I will somehow end up showing face and manage to screw things up… sadly, this one thing… has followed me my entire life… and possibly has really messed up my personal life. ¬†I hope it can be repaired… eventually. ¬†But, I can happily say I “get it” — be proud of ones ability isn’t bragging… on the contrary… it’s confidence… something of which I have sorely had very little nearly my entire life. ¬†Never allow someone tell you you aren’t enough… Never take a back-handed compliment… only accept what you deserve!

All day I can honestly say I only had one person that didn’t tip me… which really helped… I have a small paycheck… and little cash these days. ¬†I hate getting charged tips… I get taxed on said tips… SERIOUSLY?! WTF?! I hate the fact that I get paid such a crap wage and then… I get literally half my tips swiped away from me… it sucks! And truthfully, it’s not fair…. but… then again… living in the land of the free often times isn’t so fair these days.

Towards the end of my shift… I was getting pretty dang tired and had a few moments to just breath. ¬†I had one last client… she had stopped by earlier, only wanted me, but, I was backed up, she said she’d come back, I reminded her I was done at 6 today and I wasn’t staying any later today. ¬†She showed up at 5:45…. happily she was my last client for the day and my week.

While working with her, a man walked by with a walking stick, he was sight impaired. ¬†He seemed a bit confused… but, he was working something out in his head. ¬†Finally he walked towards the KIOSK and asked where Starbucks was… meaning how to get there from the KIOSK. ¬†Okay… so I said I was confident with my threading… my work… but… dang it if I couldn’t figure out a simple way to tell this man how to get to Starbucks… SO… I did what my fixer side does… I told my client to please be patient, I asked the man how much he could see, he said “only light” so… I gave him my elbow and we took off to Starbucks… which is about 50 yard (give or take) from our KIOSK. ¬†He was telling me he was getting tired, frustrated and got “lost”, he though having a coffee would wake him up. ¬†LOL… I got him to his destination… and let me tell you… my entire day was trumped by that one simple act of kindness I did… I felt amazing… I felt lighter, happier then I have in more then 2 weeks…. He will never know just how much helping him made me feel…

It’s funny… we never realize what one small act of kindness can do to our souls… our inner spirits… regardless if he remembers me helping him… I will remember him “helping me”. ¬†I needed that today. ¬†It ended my work day so well. ¬†I was able to walk out to my truck, in the cooling sunshiny day and smile… not because everything is perfect in my life… LOL… far from it… it just helped. ¬†I needed to feel that peaceful feeling… I have missed it. ¬†I don’t find much peace these days… probably and mostly by choice, I choose to be where I am… I have been given a gift today… something I needed. ¬†I was reminded of the small choices we make… and what they can do and make for someone else…. and what they, in the end, do for us, which honestly, for me, is much bigger then anything I did for him was…

My drive home was more relaxed… even when the jerk tried to cut me off… the idiot tried to pass me on the wrong side and then was cut off by someone else… it seemed Karma may have given me a slightly ‘lighter load’ — perhaps just for the evening… but… for now… I’ll take it… just a small victory and a lovely feeling.

Just one thing that would and could make things perfect… I believe in my heart anything is possible. ¬†Do you?

Have a wonderful weekend my friends! Cheers to you all!